Family gatherings, celebrations on New Year’s Eve, wedding toasts…all of these types of experiences can be worrisome to family members of those who are recovering from a substance use disorder.
Is it okay to have a toast? Will the presence of alcohol cause the person to suffer a relapse? What do you need to do to be mindful of your family member’s needs at this time?
There are a lot of questions you may need help with as you plan your next event. It’s always appreciated when the family tries to offer a solution and makes a space safe for a person in addiction recovery.
Consider these strategies for providing your recovering family member with the support they need through holiday events and special occasions.
Include Them in Your Decisions
The first and most important step is simply asking your family member what they need. Don’t assume they expect you to have an alcohol-free event. At the same time, you cannot assume they can “control themselves” and abstain. When you open up the conversation with them, discuss a few key things.
Encourage them to be a part of the celebration. Ask them what would be best for their situation. Some examples could include:
- Not having substances present
- Offering both alcoholic and non-alcoholic options, such as a sparkling cider for the toast
- Having regular check-ins during the event to see how they’re doing
If someone just got out of rehabilitation and they are struggling with the first few months of alcohol addiction recovery, choosing to keep events dry could show your family member just how important their recovery is to you. Find other ways to make this event special and meaningful.
Conversely, if a person has a strong history of abstinence, perhaps even years of non-use, they may feel uncomfortable if you don’t serve alcohol because of them. They might rather that you proceed as you normally would and not make a big deal about it.
The only way to know what your family member really needs is to ask.
Don’t Overlook What You Cannot Control
A person facing addiction recovery often will encounter people who don’t understand. A work holiday event, a summertime barbeque with the neighbors, or a celebration for a parent’s anniversary can create a difficult experience for someone in recovery.
Even when you are not planning or hosting the event, there are several things you can do to help your family member feel supported:
- Make it clear that they do not have to attend any type of event at which they do not feel comfortable. Don’t make them go.
- At events where substances are present, provide your loved one with the support they need by not using the substances either. Solidarity can be very helpful.
- Provide a way out. Discuss beforehand how you can help your family member get out of a bad situation. A phone call, a specific phrase, or a statement that alerts you to their need for immediate help can be empowering and reassuring.
As you help your loved one navigate the complexities of addiction recovery, know that there are many ways to celebrate that do not include the use of substances. Find opportunities to share these with your family member.
Remember that there is no cure for addiction, but it is possible to provide a family member with ongoing, supportive care so that they do not feel the need to turn to substances again. Provide them with the resources to get help immediately when needed, such as finding a local meeting or turning to a comprehensive treatment provider.
If your family member is struggling right now, turn to Iron Bridge Recovery Center for immediate help. We are available 24/7 to provide guidance when your loved one needs it the most. We also offer virtual sessions that can help your family member get the care they need.
This Year and Next Year, Offer Support to Your Family
Finding the right way to support a family member can be challenging. Our Iron Bridge Recovery Center team is available to guide and support you through this process. Contact our compassionate treatment team for immediate help.
